Do They Really Exist?

Okay, so we warn our girlfriends about red flags.  We read about red flags in self help books (yeah, I said, it…yeah, I read ‘em and you can just suck it if you want to judge) (sorry, sometimes my petite gangster comes out without warning).  So, do these red flags really hold validity?  And more importantly how do you decipher between a red flag or  the knot in your stomach that may only be hang ups from past relationships?  Without doubt, I can look back and see those red flags attempting to beat me to a pulp with the ex…I’m surprised I do not have scars.  Need examples?  (again, don’t judge…well, you should judge…I needed to be bitch slapped (gasp, I think my petite gangster just turned on myself).  I was told “I find intimacy in snuggling vs. anything else” or “I don’t want to have children” or  ”I take a very long time to do anything…it takes awhile for me to put things in motion, that’s just who I am” or when he cried when another dog ate one of Delilah’s dog toys…it was tiny bunny and it was her first little toy…Ouch! That red flag from the past just smacked me.

So…yes, I don’t want to repeat patterns.  Hopefully none of the above will ever be repeated or I will then be convinced that playing russian roulette is totally not my thing.

But what about the red flags that I see lurking in the distant?  How do I breathe and stay in the moment but still be smart? How do I not go into an internal monologue about all the imaginary “what ifs” that are unresolved?

Or do I just listen to my girlfriends that are married or about to get married who say things like “he will never be perfect, you will never get everything you want” or “sometimes I think he is such a brute” or “We just don’t have anything to talk about”…

Okay, writing the above did not make feel better.

This post is a downer.  I think I should flag this one.