And Fabreezing your comforter

Getting cocky is what always gets you in the end.  Once you get cocky, you stop being mindful of your surroundings.  You begin to trust the unknown.  And you begin to trust a little animal with four legs and a tri-colored coat.  Every time I’ve let her out the back door, I follow a regimen.  I open the door and she sits.  I go out and then I ask her to follow.  She is not allowed to run out with abandonment.  She is then always attached to a two linked leash that is securely in place.  I had walked out with her, did not chain her…she used the potty in the area that’s considered mine.  She sat there facing our door.  The wind was picking up her ears and the sun highlighted her wispy leg fur.  I turned and went inside. Picked up the Fabreeze bottle and began spritzing a fresh scent to a newly made up bed.  I turned to look at her and she was gone.  Gone.

I flew out the door and looked out and only saw green.  and it was quiet.  and there was no Delilah.  The freshly mowed lawn did not frighten me.

What lurked passed the grass that pulled at my gut.  Slightly passed the wooded area is a definite dip in the earth as rusted train tracks constantly await a speeding commuter train to NY.

and passed those destination tracks, lurked an unruly amount of shrubbery where any small animal could get lost…if they happen to make it across. And in the quiet, I run calling her name.  She does not appear.  I do not hear her running through the dried leaves.  I do though hear a distant vibration.  A low, distant vibration.  I keep calling out.  It’s odd, how in those moments of complete loss and fear how time stands still but also how many thoughts can enter your mind as well.  I couldn’t believe I made it through the state of Texas but this is where I lose my beautiful little girl.  I imagined having to tell people about my irresponsible actions.  I imagined having to tell the ex out of respect.  I realize that I have no one to call.  Kerry is miles away.  My go to person, Kerry is too far.  I thought about calling Kerry in those moments just to reach out.  I kept calling her name.  I call Martin…big Martin.  I tried Casey but she didn’t answer her phone.  Martin was on his way to work but said he’d come right over.  I stood on a boulder trying to get another view.  I looked down the hill and there she stood, happy as a lark.  Tail wagging.  Her eyes danced with sugarplums dressed up as chipmunks.  She looked at me, saw something move a few feet away from her and begin to hop towards it as if on a trampoline.  ”Don’t you dare” I yelled.  I dropped to my knees and started to cry.